So why is there nothing here? You promised it'd be done by now so what's going on? Well long story short I broke my keyboard. It wasn't percussive maintenance, it was intentional destruction. Normally this wouldn't be a big issue but heavy-weight Cherry keyboards (to which I am particuarly partial) it appears are area denial weapons. The entire computer room is covered in sharp, pointy little keyboard shards.
Me... Vacuum... it'll take a day or two!